Life as a Pilot

Imagine how hurt I feel when arriving at the office. I get pushed to the side of the desk and "PC" gets woken up with a tender loving smile. I mean do me a favor! I've nothing against "PC", on the contrary we have to get on. We have this wonderful understanding. When I ask him for an update he's very obliging and visa versa.

But there are moments when I could get so mad! My master leaves me all stuffed up. When he could be leaving me proudly displayed at the front of the desk.

Of course there's always him, member of the 40% club! Never does he get used except when he's out to impress someone. The difference with me, is that I'm here to be functional, to be used. Certainly not to impress anyone.

My master is slowly getting it sussed though. The other day, I let him win at a game of chess. So excited was he that I was kept out all day by "PC".

Suddenly the phone rang. It was an emergency. My master new I had been given a number to remember, but forgotten where I'd put it.

40%er, of course shouted he'd come to the rescue, but by the time his master had taken him out of his case, opened him up, switched on and taken instructions I had already supplied my master with a list of every area and any reference to his request. So impressed was my master that he gave me a gentle pat on my new Pilot Wrap case.

Subject: "Life as A Pilot" Date: Sun, 24 Nov 1996 19:00:17 +0000 From: stuart@davidsn.demon.co.uk Organization: Mach 10 To: dsf@i2i.nwnet.co.uk

Monday 08:17 am

Here I am with my master riding along on the train to the office.

My master tapping and writing away, we're getting along quite well, better than usual for a Monday morning. Currently, updating the week's "To Do" list. The master's already moved two of today's deadlines forward by three days! Deadlines, which I have been happily storing and reminding him of for the last three weeks. Sometimes, I think, the ease at which I allow the master to change deadlines is creating a procrastinator.

I just wish the master would use me to the best of my ability and let me manage his life - completely! If these jobs were completed I could Hotsync them onto Percy.

Who's Percy? PerCy, is the office monolith computer. It's sad isn't it when master's call inanimate objects by pet names and such unoriginal ones too! Perhaps I'm just bitter and twisted that the master has given the sad old PC a pet name but hasn't given me one - yet!

Percy and I have a sort of love hate relationship. Percy sits there with 16MB of RAM and a 1Gb hard drive laughing at my inability to cope with some of the files he downloads to me. I'm laughing back of course when Percy is left in the cold dark office when I have days out with the master.

Of course we both laugh at the master because, with our abilities, we know who is in control.

Both Percy and I have a job to do, and that is to control the master. We provide the information at the touch of a button or at the stroke of Graffiti (in my case) which allows the master to look intelligent and "on the ball" when in fact the master is neither. It is our Artificial Intelligence which is running his personal life, his finances, his work schedule and provide the snippets of information which amazes his colleagues.

Just last Friday, the master amazed his section manager by "remembering" the statistics from the last marketing meeting. Another Brownie Point scored in the master's favor.

The "Brownie Point" running total, which I maintain internally for future use, dropped three points in the last month . . . . but that's another story.

Monday: A brand new day. I awake my master at 7:00 sharp. Over his daily coffee, we made his plans for the next few days. Waiting for the Metro, the master met and befriended a nice woman who lived in the same apartment building with him. The master quickly pulled me out and started a new entry in the "Black Book" section of his address application. I knew i would see her again... The Metro came.

On the way, we played a small game of Pong. We could never get through a game by the time we were at work, so he deleted the app shortly after we got on the bus.

Work went the same as always. I was only two weeks old, so he showed me off to a few co-workers who had been on vacation. I beamed to the people. This is always a thrill to palmpilots. The master's to-do list was clear, so we ducked out early from work.

I was surprised when we took an unexpected turn into the local computer superstore. I was soooo mad. It seemed that all of the latest purchases were for the home computer, and not me. About the only thing I've gotten is the registered version of a few games. Well we headed past the software, towards the computer peripherals department. Great... Computer gets a new disk drive or a faster modem, and I have nothing.

The master eagerly leans over a display case and i see something totally wonderful. A MODEM! FOR ME! The master purchases it and hurry's home.

He hurries up to the computer with his Platinum Card. He opens a book-marked site and enters some information, and then logs off.

He slowly opens the modem box and pulls out a small curvy box made to clip to my bottom. He attaches a spare phone line, alters some of my preferences, connects it, and then Hot syncs. I feel my self connect to a strange computer and download a memo. I quickly read it.

"WELCOME TO PILOTMAIL!"

I HAD MAIL!

He always carried my new modem friend with us everywhere. He even forwards to me from his computer! I can see that computer hates this...;)